MARK'S... ------------------------------------------------------------ * * * *** * * ***** * ***** ***** ***** ***** *** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *** * *** * * *** *** * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***** *** * ***** ***** ***** * * ***** * * ------------------------------------------------------------ Volume 1 ~ Issue 10 ~ 10 January 2000 (C)2000 Mark Krell ------------------------------------------------------------ CHOCOLATE?... WHAT'S CHOCOLATE??? Sometimes it's easier to understand other people if we take into account that their range of life experiences is not the same as ours. I touched on this when in a previous issue I used the example of why some folks won't try new flavors, etc. It isn't often that I get told some things, but if I spend time with a lady who has known only foolish or ignorant men in her life, and I treat her with kindness, caring and consideration, she's likely to be surprised to the extent that she wonders whether Im real or too good to be true. And this to behaviors of mine that I think should be displayed towards ladies by all men and vice versa. Behaviors that aren't THAT special, at least in my view. It has been my experience in past, that while these ladies like my behaviors very much, that doesn't mean they trust them enough to allow themselves to love me. If one cannot set aside their past, they are not able to truly and fully love another. The issue is not being able to forget... It's about being able to see that even if we have known ten bad men or women, that is really possible for us to find a good one. Not all men are the same... Not all women are the same. ---------------------------------------------------------------- TRUST... EARNED OR DESERVED... AN ADMISSION. In the last issue I talked about a lady with whom I experienced a quality of relating that taught me a lot about what is possible in a man woman relationship. I told you that we had a great trust in each other. What I failed to put together while I was writing was that we had known each other for several years prior to our getting together. I watched her through a marriage which failed because her husband failed to preserve himself as the person he was when they met, and who did not live as though she was high on his list of priorities. I ALWAYS respected that relationship and I made no approach to her until after her marriage was untenable and they were apart. I also did not approach her until I had enough proof that it would not get better with my ex. I even had her permission! I tell you this admitting that part of the reason the lady did trust me was that she had seen me for several years and she knew who I was. I still believe that trust is deserved, not earned. Either I am trustable or I am not and it remains for a lady to discover enough about me to figure out for herself if I am trustable. With my realization of how that nice experience was possible, I admit that it takes time for the lady to make such discovery. --------------------------------------------------------------- WHY UNTRUSTING LADIES AREN'T WORTH MY TIME... Even admitting that it takes time for a lady to build great trust in a new partner, I also recognize... Getting to know someone and to build trust for them requires taking some risks... For the purposes of this illustration, there are two kinds of ladies in the world... Those who will allow enough closeness with a potential new partner to make real discovery possible and who will risk trusting a new person until they have reason not to are possible new partners. Those who will not, and who hold themselves apart, never take enough risks to develop trust. It's an unwinnable uphill battle with them. I don't have enough years left. --------------------------------------------------------------- I GET MAIL... Here's one from someone I suspect is a very lovely and straight- forward lady... Subject: you are something else:-) To: mark@eiw.com Hello Mark, I can't believe you took the time to write such a letter!! What in the world inspired you to wear your heart on your sleeve this way? And how on earth did you not know you had something wrong that would result in the loss of not one, but both limbs? You surely had some clue!?! You seem too intelligent to let something so important go. I have a friend at work who forwarded your web site to me...that is how I came to e-mail you. We are both nurses. I hope I haven't offended you. I am just astounded. I assume you are not lonely...you probably get many letters responding to yours. I hope you have found your sweetheart! Sincerely, ***** Dear *****, Thank you for the compliments and expressions in your letter. After some wrong tries in past, I figured it was time to spell it out clearly this time. As far as putting my heart on my sleve... what risk did I take?... the disbelief of those who certainly weren't going to love me?... but, if the right lady reads it she deserves all the assurance I can give to her! You have to KNOW you're diabetic to worry about the consequences... The mistake I made was having some poor years during which I had no physical exams. By the time I was diagnosed, the damage was done. Answers to your additional questions and or concerns can be had by reading a series of e-zine/newsletters which can be found by pointing your internet browser to eiw.com/loveletters/ These I usually deliver by email and I have taken the liberty of adding you to the subscription list. It is easy to discontinue should you not wish to continue getting them. Which brings me back to your letter... Thank you for your good wishes. From the tone of your letter, I assume that you did not wish to explore the possibilities, so I know nothing better to do but thank you, wish you every happiness and to extend to you my... Best Regards, Mark ------------------------------------------------------------- Previous LoveLetters can be read at http://eiw.com/loveletters/ Feel free to recommend LoveLetters to those of your friends to whom it may be helpful or entertaining... http://eiw.com/loveletters/ If you no longer wish to receive LoveLetters, send an email to me with "No More LoveLetters" as the subject. ----------------------------------------------------------- end of issue. |