MARK'S... ------------------------------------------------------------ * * * *** * * ***** * ***** ***** ***** ***** *** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *** * *** * * *** *** * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***** *** * ***** ***** ***** * * ***** * * ------------------------------------------------------------ Volume 2 ~ Issue 2 ~ 12 January 2000 (C)2000 Mark Krell ------------------------------------------------------------ DRINKING ON DATES... This little article expresses my opinion... You may feel differently... While I could live the rest of my life without any alcoholic beverage, I am not against sharing a nice wine with a lovely lady at dinner or enjoying a sunset with a glass of wine. And, when it's really hot and I have people over, I make the nicest pina colada that you've ever tasted as a frozen drink. If I wind up with a lady who has problems with a little rum, I'll find a non-alcoholic rum flavor... I already have some non-alcoholic alcohol type beverages in my fridge. To me, like many things in life, it's a matter of degree... I know people who will take advantage of every opportunity to have a drink... I keep thinking the better thing for them to do is to make their reality nice enough that they would no longer feel the need to escape... When I was young, I never used to mind drunk ladies because of their often lowered inhibitions :)... Nowadays, I like 'em sober and aware, and I have an aversion to drunk ladies and men for reasons which follow... If you're going to drink a glass or two of wine while having dinner with me, that's OK... BUT, if you start before you meet me and you're on the tipsy side, that's NOT OK! I don't deal well with the behaviors you'll display and your overly animated speech and you repeating things over and over and I don't think most nice ladies like that kind of behavior from men either... If you feel that uncomfortable with me that you have to insulate yourself from me, we are definitly NOT for each other... And, when you hug that wine glass and make that choice over getting out and doing something or going somewhere nice with me, that choice tells me what is most important to you... I take this kind of rejection seriously. I have found myself with ladies who I couldn't get away from fast enough, to avoid their behaviors which I regard as punishing to me... Drunks do stupid, costly, time-wasting, and trouble producing things... I am not guilty of anything that would make me deserve to have this punishment and grief introduced into my life. I have enough trouble keeping everything working around here that I don't need additional careless-drunk created repairs to contend with. Man or woman, if you meet anybody who is living their life decently, drink too much and you'll disqualify yourself in a hurry. On some dating sites they provide for preferences... A lot of ladies check all the boxes about drinking... Y'know, "Doesn't Drink", "Social Drinker", "Drinks Occasionally", and "Drinks Often"... Where are their heads?????... If a lady is willing to accept a regular drinker even though she's described herself otherwise, does she richly deserve what she gets?... I think so. A smart man knows better than to tie up with a lady lush. I'm smart. --------------------------------------------------------------- SHE'S GOING ON A DIET... The letter she wrote... Hi Mark! You've convinced me to go on a diet! I had to agree with what you said about me needing to be as pretty as I can be if I want to find a good smart man. I have started on a diet thanks to you. Thanks for all of your encouragement. ***** My answer here... It's great that you want to lose weight! Diets can do this but seldom solve the problem in a permanent way... Please consider making changes in what you eat regularly because... While your weight loss may be slower, it will be healthier... By changing your habits, keeping the weight off is likely to be more permanent... And, when you find your nice smart man, he's never gonna stop looking at you and feeling lucky! Isn't that what you really want? ----------------------------------------------------------- HARDENING OF THE ARTERIES... The arteries of thought, that is... Even though it's the fashion today to "put on a good front, people are very sensitive inside... Hurts sustained through the years make people "hard"... "Hard" people find it impossible to truly love and trust... Can someone who looks like a nice kind person be "hard"?... You bet... Men and women who decide limited uses they have for each other deserve each other... All I ask is they wear an appropriate button (badge) like, "Man wanted for vehicle and lawn maintenance", "Meal ticket wanted", "Lady wanted to focus my abuse on", "Wanted... Lady that I can use"... Wouldn't it be nice if we got to the truth right away? It's hard for many people to set aside their past... I certainly don't expect them to forget everything, but setting aside is different... It requires one to recognize everyone to be a unique individual and recognize that it's possible to "find a good one" even though weeding through the individual prospects may be tedious. "What's wrong with being "hard"?... Aren't we all entitled to our defenses??? Certainly!... Go ahead and guarantee continued lonliness if you wish. ------------------------------------------------------------- MAKING THE SEARCH EASIER... Now, here's what I want all of you nice ladies to do... If you are interested in meeting nice guys, wear a solid red button when you go out shopping, to work, to lunch, or wherever... If I see you wearing a red button, I'll stop and chat with you and invite you to meet for coffee and we'll see what we'll see... And, wouldn't it be easier for the ladies if we men who are truly available wore red buttons too? That's it! I'm gonna start wearing a red button! ------------------------------------------------------------ FORIEGN LADIES... Some are great prospects... Some aren't... How does one tell who's who? When I pastored a church long ago in a land far away, I married a nice Japanese girl to a guy who was more hippie than anything else... She stood it for two years and then left him saying, "He won't work! We canno' build a life like that!"... SHE was a GOOD lady!... I wish I knew where she is NOW! Over the years, I've known several US/Foriegn married couples who seem to be very happy with each other. I have been advised by a good friend that I need to find a foriegn lady because they treat their men better than their American counterparts. He recommends Latino women because his current gal is from South America and he says that, "Latino women really put their men first!"... Me, I'd be happy if she thought me to be as important as she is (a part of her)... I don't need to be first. A nice ladyfriend from another country has written telling me that she's seen several of her countrymen take foriegn brides only to be "taken to the cleaners" a few years later. I have seen a number of divorced foriegn ladies here in the states. This suggests to me that mixed nationality marriages are not magical, and are subject to the same problems as any local marriages. There IS one thing that I suspect may be harder... Because I believe in a shared intimacy, the problem of communicating well with someone for whom English is a second language can preclude accomplishing that kind of mutual understanding... Still, I'm brushing up on my Spanish... You never know... :) And, my Chinese isn't too bad either! :) ------------------------------------------------------------- Previous LoveLetters can be read at http://eiw.com/loveletters/ Feel free to recommend LoveLetters to those of your friends to whom it may be helpful or entertaining... http://eiw.com/loveletters/ If you no longer wish to receive LoveLetters, send an email to me with "No More LoveLetters" as the subject. ----------------------------------------------------------- end of issue. |