MARK'S...
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 Volume 2 ~ Issue 4 ~ 14 January 2000     (C)2000 Mark Krell
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   Humor me with this issue... I don't intend LoveLetters to become
a diatribe espousing the views of the handicapped... This current
event is such a good example that I couldn't resist sharing it with
you.

----------------------------------------------------------------

HOW MUCH OF A DETERENT IS A WHEELCHAIR?

   I've told some of you that I have to make lots of approaches to
get responses from ladies... Actually, my success rate is about one
half of one percent (1:200)...

   AND, that's if I work at it!

Her ad (or profile)...

 My screen name is ******* (Member No. *******) and I am a
 46 year old Female from Marietta, GA , United States. 
 My hair is blonde, my eyes are brown and I am 5'8" (172
 Cm.) tall. My body style is slender and I weigh 124 Lbs (56
 Kgs.) , I am physically active in selected activities, I smoke
 occasionally and I drink socially. 
 I am divorced and I have no children, and I do not wish to
 have children .
 I am Caucasian, my religion is Baptist, and I grew up in
 Atlanta.
 I have completed some college and the emphasis of my
 studies was in Rock & Roll. My occupation is: ********* -
 and my annual income is not disclosed. As for politics, my
 views are Midway Moderate
 I am seeking a long-term relationship. Relocation is an
 option I am willing to consider.
 I view Appearance as Medium Importance.I view
 Intelligence as Important.
 My astrological sign is not important.

 My personality traits are:   adventurous, artistic,
 conservative, easygoing, flexible, humorous, low
 maintenance, romantic, sensitive, talkative, witty. 
 The activities I enjoy are: intimate conversations, cooking,
 dancing, gardening, adventure travel. 
 I like these kinds of music:   Blues, Oldies, Classical Rock
 n' Roll, Modern Rock n' Roll, Soul. 
 I usually read:   fiction, non-fiction, magazines, newspapers,
 trade journals. 
 I go out to:   the beach, restaurants, the movies, comedy
 clubs, concerts, bookstores, shopping malls, libraries,
 parks, bars. 
 My favorite cuisine:   Chinese, Continental, Italian, Mexican,
 Sushi. 
 I like these physical activities:   boating, jet-skiing, water
 skiing, walking, golf.

 More about me:   Hi my name is ***, I am not sure what I
 am looking for. Just a normal, sane guy, less than 55 yr.,
 young at heart. DEFINATELY NOT MARRIED OR LIVING
 WITH SOMEONE. I am not looking for a one-night stand or
 an affair, or maybe I am. That depends on you!! I have been
 swept off my feet once or twice. (Big grin) I am 5'8", slim
 trim, 40 and change, I work as a national marketing
 consultant and travel the USA, but am home most
 weekends and quite a few weeks at a time. I own my own
 home in the Stone Mountain area and am almost a native
 of Atlanta. I love to laugh and so should you. I don't take life
 too seriously and even mow my own grass, unless you want
 too! Need lots of things fixed around the house so would
 like a guy that is handy with his hands…mmmmm just
 teasn. I really must insist on a picture. (Of you, taken this
 decade) I have never posted an ad before, but am being
 coached by a few friends that have. Hugs *** 

 I'd like to meet someone who is between the ages of 45
 and 55. 
 His/her marital status may be single, divorced, separated,
 widowed he/she can be a smoker, a non-smoker, an
 occasional smoker and a non-drinker, a social drinker, an
 occasional drinker. 
 His/her religion can be: Anglican, Baptist, Catholic,
 Lutheran, Methodist, Mormon, Protestant, Other Christian,
 Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, Islamic, Atheist, Other, All
 Religions. 
 His/her ethnicity can be: White, Hispanic, Asian, Native
 American, Other. 

 More about my perfect date:   Harrison Ford. However if
 you are not Harrison pls feel free to drop me a line
 anyways.
 In my mind, our first date should be as following:   I insist on
 the first meeting being in a very public place, say a
 coffehouse. Gives us a chance to visit and talk.
 My perception of an ideal relationship:   Mutal trust and
 respect. Lots of love and laughter. Who knows.
 f;ldfk'asdfsdfdfsfesfsdfasdfsd
 asdfljksdfk;sdfsfsdfsadsadfsadkf
 This is what I've learned from my past relationships:   At my
 age I will not play mother to anyones kids. So if you have
 kids living at your home ( You do have a home I presume)
 under 18, sorry. If you do not have a reasonable track
 record of employment i will not be the one for you. You do
 not have to support me and I REFUSE TO SUPPORT YOU.
 Pls don't feel I am a bossy pushy female, I just don't want a
 man or kids to raise. 
-
   She's going to get replies because she's an attractive lady...
Whatever I write had better get her attention and her strong
interest to edge ahead of the competition and overcome...
the... ohmygod... THE CHAIR!

   Now the hard part... paying real attention... how to frame
this letter... hmmmmm... lemmesee now... she knows more about
what she doesn't want than what she DOES want... you've heard
me tell you that many many ladies think more in terms of how
they've been hurt than an accepting frame of mind... and worse,
she's gonna show whatever I write to her friends who also have
their prejudices... Honesty IS the best policy... I'm honest...
Let's see if we can add some sugar...

I write...

Dear ***,

  I choose you!  I choose you because I have a strong feeling
that you might really appreciate a grown-up fellow who has no
craziness, no b-s, nothing that will insult your intelect or
your person.

  I choose you because you are beautiful to me and my gut
feeling that we might very much enjoy each other.

  Even so, I have concerns... your ad at meetmeonline.com
presents some inconsistencies... Why list as Marietta when you
live in Stone Mountain?... This is minor... The big question
I am entertaining is this... Based on what she has included in
her ad, can this lady set aside the jerks she has encountered
and allow for the possibility of me being a stable guy who is
trustable and doesn't need her to be anything but a loving
and responsive woman?

  I don't think that you are bossy or pushy... just not
interested in another like those you've encountered so far.

  I pay attention and I motivate from a loving standpoint...
I am one ofthe nicest guys you will ever meet and sharper than
most.  Believe that I'd know what to do with you if I had you
and I have sense enough to practice good stewardship.

  Even so, nobody's perfect... I suspect that all men are part
Prince and part Frog.  And, to help you to decide for yourself
that ratio concerning me, I invite you to visit my web page
at http://eiw.com/together/

  Sometimes the best things in life come to us differently
than we imagine.

  Your home might be nicer than mine, but mine is no shack,
and it's paid for!

   My children consist of an eight year old Lhasa-Poo person
named Candy who I have raised with love.

   I am single (yes I am REALLY divorced) because she
developed mental illness and tried to shoot her brother.
I assure you that I was not the author of any ofher troubles.

  So, now we find out if Harrison Ford is more important than
a man who is truly capable of loving you if our chemistry is
right...  Would you be willing to visit my page which has a
clear recent photo even if I told you that I will never mow the
grass?  Would you be willing to visit my page if I told you that
while I know how to fix anything, it will take working together
most of the time?

  No coffeehouse, too noisy... I'd want to hear you... A quiet
restaurant would be better... I have no problem with treating
you to dinner...

  Is it time for you to meet a guy who has no men or women
angry with him because he hasn't hurt anyone?  Is it time
for you to want to help a man to be happy who will not only
be attentive but who will respond to your needs?

  And, in spite of your past experiences, are you still able to
risk a true intimacy with another?

   I am writing to you because I liked both your appearance
and you writing which while not very revealing of you, shows
a lot about your experiences and your attitudes.

  And, while not "Hollywood" beauty, you have a nice warm
feminine appearance that makes me feel like you could easily
qualify for being the most beautiful girl in the world.

  Mark Krell  Telephone Number 
  Street Address    (12 years next month)
  Buford, GA  30518-3528
  mark@eiw.com
  Internet Publisher and computer consultant   eiw.com
  Felonies: None   Misdemeanors:   None
  Psychosis and Neurosis: None
  Emotional Quirks and Dependencies:  None
  SS# supplied on a need to know basis.
  Additional information at http://eiw.com/together/

  mark

   NOW I'M TAKING BETS... Based on my batting average, I'm
giving odds if you believe so strongly she'll respond that
you're willing to bet!

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A MEMORY AND A FANTASY...

   I KNOW the new millennium doesn't start until next year,
but I want to make sure I'm the first to use this line...

   Why, I remember back in the last millennium...

   She had written the nicest profile I'd ever read!  It
was so beautiful that I read it over and over many times. 

   She turned out to be seriously overweight and she wanted
a man to love her for the beautiful person she is... She
also knew that God would send her Mr Right to her.

   She talked about losing weight and stated her objective
as, "Id like to lose weight and show men what their missing
and can't have."

   We sparred by email for a while... this was almost a 
year ago...

   My briefly held fantasy was that she'd come back at me
telling me she had trimmed down... chances are I would 
have kept her.

   Briefly held because of my hard learned rule that, "If
they're not who you want them to be, they never come around."

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  Previous LoveLetters can be read at http://eiw.com/loveletters/

  Feel free to recommend LoveLetters to those of your friends to whom
it may be helpful or entertaining... http://eiw.com/loveletters/

  If you no longer wish to receive LoveLetters, send an email to me
with "No More LoveLetters" as the subject.

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end of issue.

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