MARK'S...
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 Volume 2 ~ Issue 8 ~ 19 January 2000     (C)2000 Mark Krell
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CRAZY LADIES...

   Met this one at a singles group... She wanted to go to her
local Pizza Hut... I'd have sprung for nicer, but I believe in
giving a lady what she wants if I am able to...

   Of course she knew everybody who worked there and gave them
more attention than she gave me...

   After we sat for more than an hour and nobody took our order
I commented, "They seem to place more emphasis on friendliness
than service, don't they?

   She was annoyed by my comment... "THESE ARE MY FRIENDS!!!"
I weathered it out but I never saw her again.

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LADIES INTERESTED IN APARTMENT MANAGEMENT...

   For a couple of years I believed that ALL ladies were interested
in apartment management...  This lasted as long as I was the owner
of a sixty-one unit building in midtown Atlanta...

   When I said I was a landlord, every lady I met proceeded to tell
me about her life-long interest in property management.

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OK, I ADMIT IT...

   I've been feeling a bit sad lately... A good sane loving lady
who's taking good care of herself would cheer me up...

   The drinker keeps calling... I told her the only time I want to
hear from her is when she's had a sober month... If she put as much
effort toward solving her problem as she does in trying to gain my
acceptance with the problem...

   I had a nice response to my profile... Sounds like a lovely lady...
Directed her to my together page... Don't hold much hope... Read her
profile... One of the things she's looking for is an "athletically
active guy"...  Anybody for bungee jumping?

   I tell ya, it would wear a lesser fellow down! :)

   Humor me a bit and I promise that I'll "regain my perspective"...
I'll "find my center"... "Become my old cheerful self again!"

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THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A WEAK LADY OR A WEAK MAN!

   They may appear to be behaving as though they are weak... BUT...

   Have you ever noticed the tenacity with which they hold on to
the "weak" behavior?

   Try to rationalize with them... Try to help them... They have
more reasons why it won't work than you can provide in a positive
vein...

   I tell you that it takes every bit as much strength and suffering
to hold on to problems as it takes to solve and to overcome them.

   With the exception of medical problems, what each individual does
is within their power to decide.

   While I admit that some people find themselves hampered by 
unresolved emotional agenda, with the counseling resources available
today some refuse to seek good counsel or they choose not to allow
a good counseler to help them.

   If you believe you have something to teach me in this area, teach me.

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SURE YOU'RE GEORGOUS!... BUT ARE YOU PURE OF HEART?

   I go to a local shopping mall fairly regularly... You'd be surprised
at how healthy you can eat at a food court if you make good choices...

   I like to play with pretty ladies... I've figured out ways to talk to
them where they don't call the police...  Most of the time I can even
give them a smile...

   I invented the above "line" to give 'em a smile and it yields an
interesting and somewhat distressing observation...

   More than seven out of ten ladies respond by asking me what pure of
heart is.

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HEAVY CHAINS.

   It's today's fashion (at least here in Atlanta) for young men to
wear heavy chains... Teens who can't afford gold are wearing silver.

   Some years ago, I used to frequent a club... I can nurse a club
soda for longer than you'd believe! I didn't think I was doing too
well so I purchased a heavy gold polished herring bone chain five
eighths of an inch wide (wholesale)... a real intimidator!

   With my collar and one additional button loose, I went to the club
again several times...  I met more ladies than before...

   Problem was... I didn't like the ladies I was meeting!

   I sold the chain (for a profit). 

   Will the teens learn?... We have a saying here in Jaw Jah...
"Y'all cain't never tell about such things!" :)

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IF YOU AIN'T GOT A GOLD CARD, YOU AIN'T ****!

   Before I met my last ex, I ran an ad in a singles magazine in
Atlanta...

   I called a lady who wrote me a lovely and sensitive letter, and
we were deciding where to meet... She suggested a place in Buckhead,
an affluent Atlanta neighborhood...

   Playing, I asked her if this was an expensive place so I'd know
how much money to bring... She said, "You can use your Gold Card!"

   I had credit cards... I also usually carried two hundred or more
in cash... But this time I wanted to find out who I was dealing with...

   I said, "But I don't have a Gold Card."

   CLICK!

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LIZ!

   Nowadays it's a different story, but back in the old days she
really had it!... She was going through men so fast that she had me
afraid to move...

   Y'see, I figured that if I stayed in one place for long enough,
that she would eventually work her way around to me. :)

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PORN.

   Through the years a few ladies have told me that their husbands
were more interested in dirty movies than them...

   I cannot understand why a man who has a decent looking lady who
makes herself available to him can bring himself to deliver this kind
of an insult to her...  It's different if she likes 'em and they watch
them together...

   Alone, I have little tolerance for them...  The plots are stupid and
I don't watch them for the same reasons I don't go to gogo bars...

   I don't like watching women I can't have, and it ain't as good
without feelings and intimacy.

   Still, during the years when I was with a lady who "blew up" on me,
I'd peek from time to time to remind me of what women can look like.

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LYING.

   Some people lie so much that we wonder if they've ever told the
truth... Some of these folks are just plain mean, while others are
so afraid that nobody will like who they really are that they won't
risk the truth.  Many people have been hurt by liars.

   And, some folks lie only to avoid being punished.

   One sure way to be lied to is to punish them for telling the truth.

   One sure way to be motivated to lie is to tie up with someone who
entertains a set of personal standards you cannot satisfy.  It does
not matter if you think they are reasonable.

   One way to avoid lying is to risk the disapproval of others by
being truthful.

   There is less risk in this than one might think... If we lie, they
figure it out sooner or later... Then they don't trust us, or we're
labeled as a "b-s'r"... A whole bunch of folks don't like us...

   If we are truthful, some won't like us but others will... This
results in our being liked and appreciated by SOME people...  THIS is
better...

   Another way to keep from lying (he writes patting himself on the
back) is to develop sufficient diplomacy... My mother told me, "It's
not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it!"...

   Even so, sometimes there just ain't enough diplomacy!

   People who avoid the truth in situations difficult for them often
seem nuts to us... This because their responses don'tmake much sense.

   People who are brave enough to be truthful risk being unliked; but
the friends they make are better friends to have.

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RUN-IN WITH MS LOT2LUV...

   One of the dating sites seems to have an above average membership
of heavy ladies... they also have a chat feature which allows people
to summon the attention of another member who is also online...

   When summoned in this way, the first thing I do is take a quick
look at the lady's profile to get an idea of who she is...

   I answered her page with, "Have you considered that men tend to
think the worst when a lady leaves "Build" and "Weight" unspecified
in her profile?"

   She shot back, "It's very rude to ask a lady about her weight!...
Only an insensitive man would do that!!!"

   I replied, "Is it wrong for a man to want to affiliate with a
lady who is practicing good stewardship of her person and her life?"

   Back comes, "I suppose not."

   I have tried a dozen ways to handle these approaches more
diplomatically... problem is that they hang on to any discreet
response I make.  At least the direct approach doesn't waste her
time and mine.

   I've watched that site for several months and I have been able
to identify some trends... Date of membership start for heavier
ladies in an overwhelming majority predates by several months dates
shown for H/W proportional ladies... This suggests that I am not 
the only one who thinks like I do... I just braver than some in my
willingness to express my thoughts.

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MEN'S TIP... WANNA SMELL GOOD?

   LADIES! - Feel free to share ladies tips!  I'll print them.

   While nothing beats a clean fresh smell, there are times when
ladies like a nice scent when being close is part of the situation...

   I am an Aramis man because it's the only cologne that has
motivated ladies to tell me how nice I smell or to ask what I'm
wearing... You won't find Aramis at the cheap stores, even so it has
survived the marketplace for over thirty years... There must be
something to it... Try a free shpritz the next time you are in a
better store, especially if you can time it just before you pick up
your date... Her reaction will help you decide to buy or not.

   I mourn the loss of a good product... I used to use a shampoo
called "Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific!" until they took it off the
market... Why?... Because when I used it, that's exactly what ladies
would say!

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end of issue.

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