MARK'S...
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Volume 3 ~ Issue 10 ~ 16 March 2000 (C)2000 Mark Krell
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My apology to all of you for three weeks passing between LoveLetters.
Ever have times when solving problems takes so much of your time that it's
just not possible to do evrything you wish?... So do I.
Not a great deal of anything terrific has happened for me but there is
some good news to share, so...
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UPDATES ON "THE SEARCH"...
Both the Russian lady and the Chinese lady never wrote again when I
made it clear about "the chair" since neither seemed able to read the
together page...
I've made a decision about ladies who do not speak and read English
well... No more... From now on, they get a short note telling them I'm
not considering foriegn ladies...
I figure it this way... I've got enough American ladies delivering
rejection that I don't need to import any... Besides, I haven't checked
out if there's any US Customs duties (taxes) levied on imported rejection...
I could owe the government money :)...
And, by wasting time on being nice to foriegn ladies, am I depriving
some nice American gals of the opportunity to reject me?
---
The real estate lady was at the mall again but didn't stop to say hello
to me.
---
When I did have a few minutes here and there, I did scan the dating
sites and that resulted in my making about twenty approaches with no
responses.
---
A very nice lady (married/sells furniture in a national store) comes
regularly and plays chess with me at the mall... She can be a serious
heavy-duty opponent at times...
Wonder of wonders!... Two nights ago she tells me that she has a nice
lady who wants to meet me... She sold the lady some furniture and they got
to talking and the lady mentioned how hard it seemed to be to meet nice
men...She said that she met a very nice and interesting man at the mall,
and whatever else she said got a response from the lady that "the chair"
didn't matter and that she'd like to meet me...
"Tell me about her" I sez... "She's a very nice person" she sez...
Looking for a bit more I asks "How fat is she?"... Her reassuring answer
comes "She's not a great beauty but she's in good shape and looks like a
nice lady"... That was enough for me... I told her she could give the lady
my phone number (her suggestion)... I would have asked her to refer the
lady to the together page, but she said the lady was not on the web.
OK MiLady... I await your call.
---
At the mall... Ladies are beginning to wave and say hello to me... I
don't mean only the young ones, but it's expanding to some of those in
their thirties... Who says familiarity breeds...
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WIVES WHO STOP BEING WIVES (Cont'd)...
What I plan to write here is so pro-women that I feel it necessary
to preface these views by telling you that I don't believe that these ideas
are a real justification for any wife to stop being a wife... If you don't
want to be a wife, let him go... Staying with him and not being a wife to
him will punish you BOTH much and make you both miserable! This having
been said...
For those of you who forgot the question, I was asked why I thought some
wives stop being wives...
Why indeed would a nice lady who went into her marriage in good faith
and believing that she really loved her groom, come to a point where she no
longer motivated to be his wife in all ways?...
Most ladies who feel loved by a man whom they also feel they can trust
will do much to help him to feel happy and loved in return; but love and
trust are fragile things...
It doesn't necessarily take any serious offronts to the lady to have a
detrimental effect on her feelings and motivations...
It can be a combination of behaviors over time that are errosive...
Every time her opinion is treated as worthless, she feels less accepted
as a person... Every time no thank you is said in response to her efforts,
she feels less appreciated as a person... Every time she is treated with a
lack of respect in front of others, she feels...
Every time a unilateral decision is made which ignores her needs, she...
Every action that denies interest in her home and safety...
And, if a guy is not prepared to make her feel like she's the most
beautiful girl in the world, he has no business marrying her in the first
place!... It may not be true that in the dark all cats are gray, but no
"fun" side adventure matches being with a lady who looks at you with real
love in her eyes.
Irresponsible patterns of behavior also wear a lady's patience...
Years of little affronts, insults and worry from unecessary problems
none of which by themselves would be a reason, become the reason!
For those of you who think I'm being too romantic when I say things
like "loving another as though they are a part of you" and "vigorously
defending a love relationship", you are wrong!
Ask yourself if anyone who's thinking of their spouse as a part of
themselves could be as inconsiderate, insensitive, or as self-centered
as many people have shown themselves to be.
Most ladies who feel relaxed enjoy intimate situations... If they feel
truly loved, it's a definite plus...
So, go ahead stupid... make her feel like you take her for granted...
like she's not worth much... not loved... make her afraid... make all the
fun go out of it for her...
And, do it a little at a time so you can pretend to be the innocent
party and ask, "Why?" as if you can't remember all the times you've
slighted her...
Or. you can accelerate the process by being abusive to her... take your
choice... Physically?... Emotionally?... Or how about the big slap by
seeing another woman which really tells her she's inadequate?... These are
guaranteed to piss her off enough to make her want to take you for all
you've got...
None of these appeal to you?... Want something else that will drive her
nuts?... Try being one person before you're married and then changing after
the ceremony.
Certainly women also do these things!... But this article is about why
wives stop being wives.
Is it really that hard to understand?...
A hundred insults may be ignored or forgiven... maybe a thousand...
BUT... keep delivering them over years and a seemingly small incident will
cause another to erupt internally or externally with an unquenchable rage.
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SHE WANTS TRUE INTIMACY...
Remember the lady (first few issues) who would not let me talk with her
over an incident when my attention was briefly distracted at a restaurant?
She's got a new profile now which says she is seeking true intimacy :)
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CRAZY LADIES...
She listed me in her "friends" list on a dating site... 5' 2", 130-155
pounds... This didn't make me reject her... 5'2" to 135 pounds isn't far out
of my range... But when she described her build as "slight", I knew she
wasn't living in the real world...
And, there's more than one that say their goal is romance/relationship
and they're totally faithful and that they're currently married... I know
of only one lady with these criteria that I respect... Despite her marriage
not being great she remained loyal and is caring for her terminally ill
husband... She's suffered enough and deserves to use what time she has to
develop new prospects for happiness... The rest of them are crazy.
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SHE FINDS TRUE LOVE...
One of my lady friends has found love... he's a nice responsible
considerate person... they're getting married soon... and, having found
each other they are doing whatever is necessary towards them getting
together!... she tells me she's never felt so loved in all of her life...
It can happen! :)
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Previous LoveLetters can be read at http://eiw.com/loveletters/
Feel free to recommend LoveLetters to those of your friends to whom
it may be helpful or entertaining... http://eiw.com/loveletters/
If you no longer wish to receive LoveLetters, send an email to me
with "No More LoveLetters" as the subject.
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end of issue.
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