MARK'S... ------------------------------------------------------------ * * * *** * * ***** * ***** ***** ***** ***** *** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *** * *** * * *** *** * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***** *** * ***** ***** ***** * * ***** * * ------------------------------------------------------------ Volume 3 ~ Issue 2 ~ 29 January 2000 (C)2000 Mark Krell ------------------------------------------------------------ REJECTION. I still stand by everything I've said about rejection being good in that it frees you for better things... Still, it's hard not to feel sad about rejection if you're the one who's being rejected... I have a lady friend who has recently experienced rejection by a guy who truly is as insensitive and inconsiderate as they come... She owns that during the time they did spend together he was not a close loving warm person... Even though he's not a winner in the partnership candidate department, she's still somewhat distressed by his rejection... I think this is due to her having met a bunch of guys in-a-row with problems... She's taking their craziness personal... She's been on my mind a lot lately because she's a nice loving lady who deserves better... And, I believe with patience and enough exposures to different men she WILL find a sane and loving man with the wisdom to "pet kitty every day" and he will have a devoted loving lady as his reward... Even though this lady isn't a heavyweight, she's learning that sane people who place loving and being loved high on their list of priorities are not easy to find... Each crazy one and each rejection makes her a bit more afraid that she's never gonna find her happiness... I try to reassure her... This article isn't about her, it's about me. It's four in the morning now and I haven't been to sleep yet... I've been laying here feeling alone... I started thinking about my friend being affected by rejection, and I made some comparisons between the two of us... After all, if I'm supposed to be strong and rational, why would I feel sad about rejection?... If I feel sad about rejection, who am I to advise her? All of us e-seeking new partners experience two types of rejection. Initial rejection based on them viewing our ads or profiles, and in the first exploratory exposures... I still maintain that putting a photo with your ad is a good idea... If a lady doesn't like beards and mustaches. it's better that she knows up front that I have 'em... There's one dating site that let's me know who has browsed my profile... Profiles there are limited to picking multiple choice answers to a lot of questions... I am sure that I have been rejected by many ladies for not being clean shaven... Knowing that there are ladies who like beards, these rejections don't bother me... I have also been rejected by ladies because of something I've said to them during a telephone call or in the formative stages of a relationship... I don't get bent out of shape about these rejections either... I told you about my last relationship ending because she had so strong a temper that she became childish and absolutely unreasonable... I was disappointed and sad but I knew that her rejection of me was for my own good!... The hit counter on my page at eiw.com/together/ now exceeds 250... This page gets some visits by ladies I have not approached because I figured out how to include the URL (page address) in my profiles on some servers... I don't know the ratio between rejections because of disbelief of my writings, ladies feeling they don't qualify, or because of "the chair"... Considering that recent contacts I have related to you had predictable results, you might think these would affect me more than they do... Not so... I REALLY believe it's a numbers game... At this point I feel like I have to risk sounding immodest by telling some of you what a nice guy I am... I hope you'll forgive me but it is essential to have you understand why I am taking some current approaches... I'm a pretty outgoing person who has no difficulty talking to new people... I have a pretty fair sense of humor, and most things I say are informative or at the least, entertaining... While I'm not a "snappy" dresser, I present a respectable and well groomed appearance... Since they built a big shopping mall within a six minute drive from my home, I've been going there at suppertime... You might be surprised at how easy and cheap it is to find healthy things to eat at a mall food court... Another mall attraction is the number of good looking ladies of all ages that a mall attracts... What better place to see if I can get some eye contact going?... As I move through the mall I say hello to various people, sometimes I tell a joke, flirt with the young ones, sometimes a conversation about something real... sometimes a brief contact with a lady I'd like to take home and keep... Now when I go there lots of folks wave, say hello, come up to me and ask how I'm doing... If you were watching, I believe you would conclude that I am well liked by both guys and gals... And, it's guys and gals of all ages that will make a point of getting my attentiom... Acceptance I've got... Rejection I've also got... I don't expect the young gals to take me seriously when I play with them saying things like, "Y'know if I were four months younger, I'd be all over you like white on rice!"... They love the positive attention but that's as far as it goes (and as far as it should go)... I don't expect any opportunites from the married ladies either... What bothers me is that the unmarried gals who are at acceptable ages will not tarry with me long enough to give me an opening... Or, they will not allow me to make eye contact with them... Or, they do realize that I am admiring them and they smile in recognition of this but move along so quickly that there's no chance... This resulted in my commenting to a buddy the other day that the mall is ever so much more effective... From my web page I get rejected less than once a day, but I can rejected by lots of women every time I go to the mall! THIS kind of rejection bothers me... Being denied a fair chance. ------------------------------------------------------------------ GETTIN' LUCKY, BUT NOT LUCKY ENOUGH... Years ago... I was driving along a main drag and this lady was walking along with her hand bandaged... She'd just come from a hospital where she had been treated for injuries her drunk louse of a husband inflicted on her, and her town was thirty miles down the road... I agreed to take her there (no strings)... We're riding along and she says, "I wish I knew a way to show my appreciation not just for the ride but for how you talk to me."... I say, "You don't want my dirty old man answer... It's really OK darlin'... I'll take you home."... She says, "I'd LIKE to be with YOU!"... If she didn't have kids she had to get back to, you might not be reading this. ----------------------------------------------------------------- CRAZY LADIES... I was working as a disc jockey/newscaster at WCOS Radio in Columbia, SC... I was doing a midnight to six am show... The phone rings... "I've got to pick up some divorce papers from him and I'm afraid to go alone!"... I agreed to meet her after the show and we went to a house in East Columbia... Into the driveway to the rear of the house... She disappears inside... Comes out after a while in a sweat... I step out holding the taxi cab door open for her... A shotgun blast... The driver rushes down the driveway with her already inside and me running after the cab... I spent the next few hours in the ER getting buckshot picked out of my butt! Hey!... Y'think this story is really about a crazy man??? --------------------------------------------------------------- Previous LoveLetters can be read at http://eiw.com/loveletters/ Feel free to recommend LoveLetters to those of your friends to whom it may be helpful or entertaining... http://eiw.com/loveletters/ If you no longer wish to receive LoveLetters, send an email to me with "No More LoveLetters" as the subject. ----------------------------------------------------------- end of issue. |