MARK'S... ------------------------------------------------------------ * * * *** * * ***** * ***** ***** ***** ***** *** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *** * *** * * *** *** * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***** *** * ***** ***** ***** * * ***** * * ------------------------------------------------------------ Volume 3 ~ Issue 4 ~ 1 February 2000 (C)2000 Mark Krell ------------------------------------------------------------ DATING SITE FEAR... It's a toss-up whether the most common ladies fear on dating sites is placing their photo with their listing, or that the men approaching them aren't really single... I can deal with the photos but men lying bothers me as much as many ladies reactions to them... Considering that there are lots of ladies who will mess with married men, there's no legitimate reason a guy can have to represent himself as available other than mean deception... Guys who start with a lie deserve instant dismissal once the lie is out. Aye, there's the rub!... Many ladies use a brand of logic unknown to me... They say that by the time they find out he's married they already feel for him and they can't let him go... I don't get it... I'm willing to bet money that these ladies would say "No!" if you ased them if they could love a liar!... One might think that their intelligence would tell them that any man who approaches them with a lie has a motivation far from love on his mind. I'm not suggesting that men who lie are in the majority... they're not... From what ladies tell me, it seems that every lady runs into or is approached by one or two liars... Many are also approached by men who are honest about being in marriages that are unhappy for them... While some of their stories about wives who have become invalids are tragic, they do tend to strengthen ladies fear of never finding a loyal man... I don't get upset when a lady comes back asking, "Are you REALLY single?"... I figure I'm an unknown quantity to her, so I reply telling her that my divorce is indeed final and I ask her if she'd like the court and case number... It's unfortunate that this condition exists because it makes it harder for the majority of men who are truthful. I've already spoken about the advantages of putting your photo with your listing, but there is another reason that some ladies feel they can't risk putting their photo online... Fear of being stalked by crazy men... While I believe the risk of this is probably as low as one getting hurt while flying with common carrier airlines, fear knows no rationale... And, some ladies don't connect using their intelligence to deal with effectively minimizing their risk... I had an educator in Tennessee aproach me by chatting with me on a dating site... we had several exchanges which resulted in my inviting her to read my together page... She then emails me using a hotmail.com address... her user name was her first initial followed by her last name... I respond asking her if it's time for her to send me her photo and telling her I'd be happy to drive up, meet her in a public place, and treat her to dinner... She tells me she needs more time... She also tells me about a guy she met online who found her and called her and that this scared her... I have two personal reactions to this... First, I can't imagine any lady being afraid of me after reading my together page... Second, because I understand that ladies generally live with more fear of new people than men, it's reasonable to me that she did not like the unwanted contact... Calling or otherwise approaching a lady in the real world without her invitation is something I never do... So, I wrote her a reassuring letter telling her that she's met a good one in me and that even though she's given me enough information to find her, that this is something I would never make the effort to do, adding that if she ever wanted me to call her that she would have to give me her number... WRONG!!!... From then on she was only interested in how she could be found... LADIES... If you feel you must be anonymous, then give a made-up name and address when you establish your free email account with hotmail.com or mail.com or any of the free email servers on the web. If you use the initial of your first name followed by your last name, and then you tell a new contact both your first name and your occupation, you have given information about who you are especially if you work for a school system... So, if you are motivated by paranoia and you give that much information, you are not well serving your purposes... Did her paranoia help her in this case... Nah!... She just missed out on meeting a truly nice guy who would have never hurt her. ------------------------------------------------------------- EXPLANATION. If you see my email address in letters included in LoveLetters as mark@---.com... This isn't real and I have NOT changed my email address... I do this because there are computers that scan web pages on the internet extracting email addresses to build lists for junk (SPAM) mailing... You may ask why my email appears on the index pages of this and my other websites... It looks like it's there, but it is coded into those pages in a way that the scanning computers cannot recognize it. For LoveLetters, it's easier for me to change eiw to three dashes to keep my mailbox from overflowing with trash. ------------------------------------------------------------- IF THEY LOOK TOO GOOD TO BE GIRLS... THEY'RE BOYS!!!... I lived in midtown Atlanta while I owned the apartment building... There were lots of girls on Peachtree Street and Ponce de Leon Avenue who weren't... Reminds me of the time when I was 19... I made the acquaintance of a "lady" who looked teriffic!... We were going to her apartment which was in a building that had steps up to the front door... Following her and being three steps lower you can imagine my view... When I saw that bulge where it shouldn't have been, I turned and ran. :) The experience did teach me to pay more careful attention to the people I meet. ------------------------------------------------------------ PETTY ANTE PIMPERY... Shortly after I purchased the apartment building, a guy on the 4th floor tried to set me up with a gal from a S. Atlanta neighborhood... I understand that she didn't get her sugar daddy, but I've never been able to figure out what benefit he saw for himself had such an arrangement come to pass... ------------------------------------------------------------- JOB APPLICANTS... When my secretary there (who was the nicest sweetest lady who's boyfriend was pretty nice too) announced her wedding day and her intention to leave... That week I was visited by two ladies who made it very clear that they would be willing to fulfil extracurricular duties if selected them as my secretary's replacement... I reasoned that things might become too complicated and I acted accordingly. ----------------------------------------------------------- UPDATE ON "THE SEARCH"... Sent one I really really wanted... so much for the direct approach... Sent 6 brief ones... so much for the indirect approach... Mailbox (other than friends, business, and ads): EMPTY I gotta think of another kind of approach! ----------------------------------------------------------- I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS MET CRAZIES??? I asked a buddy to send in some crazy ladies stories... He said he'd rather forget forever the crazy ladies he's known... I've asked you to share your crazy men and crazy lady stories... So far you've not opted to share... Whatsamatta???... Don't you want to regale your sister and fellow LoveLetter subscribers with your tales of the absurd???... SEND 'EM IN! :) --------------------------------------------------------------- Previous LoveLetters can be read at http://eiw.com/loveletters/ Feel free to recommend LoveLetters to those of your friends to whom it may be helpful or entertaining... http://eiw.com/loveletters/ If you no longer wish to receive LoveLetters, send an email to me with "No More LoveLetters" as the subject. ----------------------------------------------------------- end of issue. |