MARK'S...
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Volume 3 ~ Issue 6 ~ 14 February 2000 (C)2000 Mark Krell
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**** HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! ****
While I might fantasize about all of you nice ladies being
my Valentine, where would I get the strength? :)
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UPDATES ON "THE SEARCH"...
No worthwhile responses... I did get two which I shared with my
nice lady friend overseas by telephone the other night...
A 5'2" tall 180 pound lady who lives 25 minutes away wants a "discreet
relationship" so she can get what she's not getting at home... I asked her
if her hubby owns a shotgun :)
A married lady a few states west wants to be friends... I asked her
what a married lady 1000 miles away could get from my attentions... she
wrote back that her husband was dying (terminal illness) and after she
put him to bed she was lonely... I wrote back apologizing for my response
and I told her that my rule was to get clear of married ladies fast, but
the she is an exception and can write any time.
After our conversation, my lady friend wrote to me...
Feb13, 0:52, ***** said: Hi Mark, what more can I say, to speak to you
have really brought me down to earth, oh what a voice like smooth honey
and a wonderful sense of humour and just so knowledgeable about things.
What is wrong with those women over there!!!!!
She also said I sound younger than her impression from my photo...
I told her there's a 20 year old man trapped in this body! She countered...
I believe her because I was blown away by how nice her voice is... We both
speak English, but I liked her cute accent and different manner of saying
things... I bet if I told her this, she'd tell me I'm the one with the
accent!
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RUINED LADIES...
You've heard me talk about ladies who have been ruined by stupid men...
Following are a couple of examples that will clearly illustrate my meaning.
These are chats on a dating site... I have not censored them other than
to remove anything that could possibly identify them, not even the parts
that show I get defensive when condemned by a lady... The chat box only
allows so much text, resulting in some of the responses being cut off...
Don't worry... You'll get the idea...
I respect both of these ladies, and I believe they have every right to
their feelings... They don't have to want what I want to be good people,
but I'm allowed to feel sad about their condition... Before you critize
me for that statement, you'd better be prepared to explain how decisions
which cannot result in anything but them growing old alone and unloved
are healthy.
This lady I wish I could rescue and her rescue me right back!
Good looking lady and her profile details were right... I sent her
an email telling her so and inviting her to see my together page... The
following resulted...
Feb12,23:30, She said:
Sorry it took so long to get back to you but I keep getting a server busy
page. Can t believe you thought I was too pretty to talk to someone. Don t
know whether to feel good or bad about that. I don t think of myself as that
pretty. But guess I have een fortunate in many ways. Thanks for writing
to me. I am new at this.
Feb12,23:33, I said:
***** server is very busy tonight... you will get a better perspective on
my comments if you view the web page I mentioned... Mark
Feb12,23:49, She said:
Read the site. That is very nice, the letter was beautiful, but to tell
you the truth, I had a lot of damage done to me years ago, and I could
never live up to all those expectations anymore.
Feb12,23:52, I said:
Isn t it time to put the past where it belongs? Is it really wrong to try
for a genuine happiness? I don t want to die without ever having really
lived, do you? Mark
Feb12,23:56, She said:
Mark, I have lived in many ways, I have loved, been loved, loved and lost
more than once, and loved by many people now. I guess the thing that I came
to terms with a long time ago, was that I had to love myself first. I do
now. I have nothing against men because of things that others did. I like
me, in fact some I dearly love. But, I am happy with the life that I have.
I am content and at peace. I do not require love of that nature to fullfill
my life anymore.
Feb13, 0:23, I said:
My apologies... had an international call... I understand what you are
telling me... I ve heard it before from other ladies and I always feel it's
a bit of a shame... But I know you have the right to feel any way you feel
and I wish you well. Mark
Feb13, 0:32, She said:
Thank you Mark and I wish you well too. Hope you find that special lady
of your dreams. I would truly be no dream for a man again though. I possess
all the qualities you have mentioned, but I have been alone for 23 years,
and have acquired such an indeendance, that it has very much made me set in
my ways. I have found that I function very well alone with the life I have
developed for myself. In earlier years, truly, I did not want it this way.
Feb13, 0:34, I said:
And it s safer too! :)
Feb13, 0:40, She said:
Yes, I guess you might say that. But it isn t so much that. It is just a
way that I don t want to live anymore. I really don t feel that I could
make those comittments again. I really appreciate the life I have now, and
before when I was married, I coudn t. I didn t even have the time to
appreciate it. I am a nurse, I take care of people. My name ****** means
"***************", I love my job, but geeeeees, doing it 8 hours at work,
and another 16 at home just got the best of me. Mankind is fine,
Feb13, 0:59, She said:
You seem like a very nice, caring and understanding man. I appreciate that
about you. Maybe in some ways I was ruined years ago for ever developing a
deep loving relationship with a man. But the important thing to me, is that
I m not bitter, I don t hold a grudge. Past is past. But more important to
me is that I have found that I can truly be happy without that comittment
in my life to a man. In fact, I truly don t have time for one, and I do
enjoy so many things that a serious relationship like that
Feb13, 1:07, I said:
I got it! I got it! :) And it s ok with me. For whatever it s worth... I
looked at you and knew that I d never be able to look at you without
appreciation... From your writing I know that you are straight-forward,
sincere, and truthful... qualities I really like in anyone, especially a
woman... I may understand that you don t want what I want, but in spite of
what all those people are saying about you, I LIKE YOU! :)
Feb13, 1:10, She said:
Why, what are all those people saying about me?
Feb13, 1:35, I said:
That s a joke!
Feb13, 1:49, She said:
oh well, don t really care much what people say anyway, the one thing that
I am, is sure of who and what I am.
Feb13, 1:55, I said:
You ve never heard someone say to another, "In spite of what all those
folks are saying about you, I like you!"... It was just an attempt at humor
to give you a chuckle... I really didn t think you would take it seriously.
Think about it... Who would I know that could talk about you?... You told
me how you feel and have not needed to defend yourself... You still don t
need to defend yourself... I think you re very nice.
Feb13, 2:01, She said:
Yeah, I understand. I know it was a joke. Guess I just wondered if people
on this site talk to each other like they do in life in general. Told ya,
don t join these sites, and don t do chat rooms. Guess that was rather dumb
of me to think that. Forgoten, no problem.
Feb13, 2:05, I said:
I have never had anybody talk to me about another member on this or any
other site... Tired... very nice meeting you but have to shut down soon or i
will be good for nothing tomorrow.
Feb13, 2:08, She said:
same here, I m off to bed. Take care and it was nice chatting with ya.
Feb13, 2:11 I said:
Good night darlin'
I repeat... this nice lady I want to rescue... impossible.
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LADIES WHO SEE ONLY WHAT THEY WANT.
This should be titled "People..." instead of "Ladies..." because I'm
sure there are plenty of men like this too!... But, since I'm writing from
a mans perspective... I've invited you ladies to share, but since you have
not sent in your stories, you'll have to endure mine... :)
This lady refused to believe I have a right to my feelings and she,
deciding that she was right, went into attack mode... I admit I was strong
with her but she wouldn't go away!... I was so pissed off with her that I
missed her meaning once during the chat, which proves I can get defensive
when attacked... The following comments might not seem charitable, but I
sincerely believe they are true...
She talks about her ex hurting her... If she treated him like she
treated me, I understand why he hurt her and I hope he's found a nicer
lady!... She also clearly states that she doesn't care if she meets a
good loving guy or not... What man in his right mind would want a lady
who has being loved so low on her list of priorities?... What sane lady
would want a man who doesn't feel being loved is important?
This lady approached me by chat... She asked me how I was doing...
Feb12,23:29, I said:
Got approached by two ladies last night... one, 5 2" and 180lbs who wants
a discreet relationship... I asked her if her hubby ows a shotgun :)...
another lady who wants friends because her husband is terminally ill...
so it goes...
Feb12,23:36, She said:
First, you have to love yourself. I ve found that after 12 years of being
alone, that sometimes it gets lonely, but most of the time I keep busy. I
read, now very busy with my mother. I got the dog to keep me company. I
have a wonderful son that I see a couple times a week. Things happen to
people in the past and there is nothing that can be done about it.
Feb12,23:38, I said:
Who'se talking about the past?... Last night qualifies as the present.
Feb12,23:50, She said:
I don t know what you mean? Were you talking about the two ladies, (which
I wouldn t consider in the term a Lady) or what?
Feb13, 0:19, I said:
My apologies... I had to take an international call... Yes, I was talking
about last night's two gals :)
Feb13, 0:31, She said:
Why is this bothering you?
Feb13, 0:35, I said:
All kinds of wrong contacts... no right ones.
Feb13, 0:40, She said:
Maybe you are putting too much emphasis on sex?
(This she sent twice.)
Feb13, 0:41, She said:
Maybe you are putting too much emphasis on sex?
Feb13, 0:51, I said:
Maybe I m putting emphasis on finding love... get your mind out of the
gutter... if it were sex, that I can get without the internet... finding
the right lady is harder... a lot harder...
Feb13, 2:19, She said:
You are right, but my mind is not in the gutter. Not everyone is the same.
I feel that if I meet the right one it will happen, and if I don t, I really
don t care. Anyways, I m signing off, I m tired tonight, I ll talk to you
tomorrow. Good Night
(She found me the next night.)
Feb13,20:34, She said:
I don t think you understand me. I want to have friends, but I m not
looking for anything right now. I have a invalid mother with dimenthia and
thats all I can handle. And these two women you talked about, was it on the
computer or in person. And why would it bother you so much. I have men talk
out of line to me a few times, but I put them in their place. It all has to
do with what you are accustomed to. I came from a very educated family and
grew up with morals and thats how it is.
Feb13,20:48, I said:
First, you offended me by assuming that I had bad motivations... I did not
talk out of line to you, I simply defended myself against your unfair
assumptions. Second, if all you want is friends that's perfectly OK, but
why approach a man who's profile clearly says he s looking for more than
just friends in his life? Where's the fairness in that??? I understand that
you re a nice lady, but I also believe you see only what you want.
Feb13,20:54, She said:
I think you want a woman that you can control(?) First of all, before one
becomes a lover,, they have to become friends. I think that your ex hurt you
deeply and believe me, I was married 23 years and he did a number on me and
it took me a long time to et over it. But you are wrong about me, I am a
very nice person and a funny person and quite attractive with a good figure,
but I don t go by looks, I go by my heart and I think that you are a very
nice person, but I don t move fast, and I asked you abou
Feb13,21:01, I said:
Why is it that every time I confront a woman who has treated me unfairly,
they always decide that I want a woman I can control... I have a site
called LoveLetters at http://eiw.com/lovetters/ and in one of the issues
you can read my feelings about whther I want a strong woman or one I can
control... it s in the index... Also, who attacked your appearance?... My
heart goes out to you for the problems you are dealing with, but I m not
your whipping boy.
Feb13,21:08, She said:
I disagree with you and I can see that you are not open to discussions
when you think that you are right. First of all, if I didn t think that
you were a nice man, I would not be talking to you. You should not be so
defensive.
Feb13,21:11, I said:
I m not sure that defensive is the word... For the purposes of this
illustration, there are two kinds of strong women... those who want to
take everything I say wrong and fight with me, and those who have the
strength to set aside their past and take he risks necessary to achieve
happiness... YOU have told me that you don t care if you don t meet
anyone who motivates you to want to get together... your choice... that
I want more is MY choice... Who appointed you my judge that you can
decide that
SHE WENT OFF-LINE...
I've thought about the advisability of my advancing this comment
because I'm afraid it might anger a few of my lady readers...
It's in here because I believe it's most probably more true than not...
If she'd put aside her education, morals, and aversion to sex and LOVED
him, both of their lives would be different today.
The validity of the "morals" ladies like this learn from their
Christian training pale beside what Jesus said, "That which ye do to the
least of them, ye do unto me."
This gal is gonna get to heaven, tell God what he's doing wrong, and
God is going to push the down button for her.
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NICE LADIES...
A friend of mine got in line at a coffee house at our local mall
while I made a brief stop on the way... A pretty lady was behind him
when I got there... I asked him (so she could hear), "This lady is so
pretty... Do you think she'd marry me if I asked her?"... She laughed
and said she could be had, and she added that she was not married yet...
I said, "I live for the day a lady tells me that who is NOT wearing an
engagement ring!"...
It's not all bad... I've met and chatted with several nice ladies...
SOONER OR LATER!
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I GET MAIL...
Here are two emails received from a nice lady who says she's run into
more that one man who motivates her questions... I need to answer these
but I have so many thoughts about this that I figure that if I give you
a preview of some of what's coming, this will force me to write...
You touched on this in last night's loveletter. I've known for a long time
that if I were God and able to make all the rules, I still wouldn't know
what they should be sometime. What about the men, and I've crossed paths
with more than one, who tell you up front that they are married, have been
married for a lifetime and won't upset the applecart by divorcing and
hurting lots of people, BUT their wives don't want to share a bed with them.
One very good man told me, "It's not fair!" Of course we all know that life
is not fair, but how best to deal with this situation? This particular man
has very good reasons, not financial, for wanting to keep his family intact,
but he also has a sexual side and wants to feel loved. I'm beginning to see
that this is a common problem, especially in the 50+ age group. I don't know
whether this can be made into a loveletter, but even if it can't, I would
like to know your opinion.
I just realized that I'm expecting an answer from you that God himself
couldn't supply. I am talking on email now with a 59 year old man who has
been divorced 3 years because his wife 'stopped being a wife' and he
couldn't handle it. He's free to search again, but I completely understand
why the other man I was talking about can't consider breaking up his family.
His birth parents divorced when he was little, gave him up to relatives who
raised him and then they divorced. He is committed to not breaking up his
family. Oh well, I guess we can't solve all the world's problems; need to
concentrate on my own.
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Previous LoveLetters can be read at http://eiw.com/loveletters/
Feel free to recommend LoveLetters to those of your friends to whom
it may be helpful or entertaining... http://eiw.com/loveletters/
If you no longer wish to receive LoveLetters, send an email to me
with "No More LoveLetters" as the subject.
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end of issue.
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